Arrive

I arrived in a new place that is very different from my old home. It’s been a week and my body still thinks it’s on east coast time. I wake up every day at 4am, like my heart doesn’t want me to forget what I left behind just yet. I feel like I should be acclimated already. I’m impatient. I’m annoyed. And mainly with myself. Perhaps I am being too hard on myself. All of this tells me that I haven’t fully arrived yet.  I did all of the things that said “I’ve have arrived”, but part of me is still somewhere else.  It’s not here. It’s not now. This week, I’m consciously recognizing the ways in which I don’t arrive fully. Then I’ll use these tools to show up more fully when I notice I’m doing everything in my power to run away. 

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How To Advocate for Yourself

I look back on all of the times that I have held myself back because I didn't think I was worth fighting for; I look back on all the times I didn't take the risk or say how I feel or use the voice that I was gifted. I hope that I am the last generation of young women who were trained from a very young age to be smaller, to speak softer, to hide under the pretense of civility, to sacrifice everything for another person, to acquiesce because it is the easier, though probably more damaging, path. Don’t let other’s fear of your personal power deter you from standing in your truth. Know your worth. Tell yourself your truth. Speak up, speak out, and let go.

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Using Discomfort to Confront the Habitual

The last six months have been full of confrontation with myself: my goals, my dreams, my hopes, the imprint of goodness I want to leave on the world, the positions I’m putting myself in that compromise my ability to do that. I’ve known that New York would not be my forever home since December of 2016. Just so we are all on the same page, it is June 2018. So many things happened in that year and a half that made me feel like I should stay, like I had something keeping me here. Maybe I needed all of these things to happen. Maybe I needed everything to fall apart. I decided to move because I had absolutely nothing else to stay for, and that sense of being completely empty meant that I was also completely free. 

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Happy is an Inside Job

Feelings will come and go.  Thoughts, too, will flow. So, if we remain, even after the feelings, even after the thoughts, that must mean who we are is much deeper than those things.  Our contentment is deeper than the objects and titles we possess. Our contentment is deeper the relationships in our lives. Our contentment lives deep under the waves and the storms and the sunshine. It resides in the stillness of who we are in the present moment and our ability to move from that place.

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All That Power

Songs are written about it. People die for it. Everyone has it.
And guess what, it’s not love.  It’s power. The times, they are a-changing and what power once was is slowly starting to evolve. What is it? Why do we all have it? How do we not get lost inside of it?

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The Vast Open Space

I tend to have a high tolerance for wading through the unknown. It doesn’t bother me so much that my day-to-day or week-to-week fluctuate a large amount because I know that I’m still moving in the general direction towards the things I think I want. But what happens when we lose sight of what we want?  What if that changes, as it might? How do we course correct and give ourselves the opportunity to realign our lives with our inherent higher purpose? Find the Vast Open Space.

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Showing up for Yourself

In my experience, it’s fifty-eleven times easier to show up for other people than it is to show up for myself. I recieved years of training on how to show up for other people. It’s a large part of my work. It feels like a part of my DNA. Try as I might, I just don’t know how to turn that part of myself off (and maybe that is a fantastic thing). “Showing up” is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot in the communities I’m a part of. What does that mean though? How do you do that for other people?  How do you do that for yourself? It is a powerful message of solidarity: no matter what you uncover about who you are, about this mess we’re in, I’m here with you.

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